Have you heard about the thieving duck or the snake that lives in cars? What about the dancing sheep or the angry monkey? This list of joyful animal jokes will get you and your students giggling and quickly making up your own fun puns. Use them to break the ice during morning meetings, lunch times, or just walks in a line. Inserting humor into the school day brings such life and creativity.
1. What kind of monkey flies to school?
A hot air baboon.
2. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime.
3. What do you call a duck that steals things from the bathroom?
A robber ducky.
4. What do you call it when a cow and a chicken are angry at each other?
Roost Beef
5. What is a horse’s favorite sport?
Stable Tennis
6. What is black and white and red all over?
A sunburnt penguin
7. What do you call a bear that has gotten wet all over?
A drizzly bear.
8. What snake is found on cars?
A windshield viper.
9. What do you call a cow that can’t moo?
A milk dud.
10. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled Milk.
11. Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because of its bark.
12. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.
13. Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the Milky Way.
14. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
15. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
16. What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
Fowl weather.
17. What do you call a baby dinosaur?
A Wee-Rex!
18. What do you call a dancing sheep?
A baa-llerina!
19. What dessert did the cat get after dinner?
Chocolate Mouse.
20. What do you call a baby monkey that is just like its dad?
A chimp off the old block.
21. What do you call an angry monkey?
Furious George
22. Why did the lion always lose the card game?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
23. Why did the bear wear slippers?
To cover his bear feet.
24. What cars do sheep like to drive?
Lamborghinis.
25. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Goat. Goat who?
Go to the door and find out.
26. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gorilla. Gorilla who?
Gorilla me a steak, I’m hungry!
27. What is a polar bear’s favorite shape?
Ice-osceles triangles.
28. What is a rule in zebra baseball?
Three stripes and you’re out!
29. What do dogs and phones have in common?
They both have collar ID.
30. Where do dogs park their cars?
In the barking lot.
31. What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop.
32. Why did the bird go to school?
To get a little tweet-er.
33. What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
34. Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
35. What do you call a snake who is good at math?
An adder.
36. What do you call a cat that can play guitar?
A mewsician.
37. What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website.
38. Why did the crab never share?
Because he’s a little shellfish.
39. What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
40. Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives.
41. What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.
42. Why did the rabbit like to watch TV?
Because he loved hare-raising movies.
43. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs Bunny.
44. Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.
45. What do you call a bear with no ears?
B!
46. What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother’s sister?
An aunt-eater (anteater).
47. Why did the tiger lose the race?
Because he was racing a cheetah.
48. What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor.
49. What do you call a dog that’s been left out in the cold?
A pupsicle.
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