Kids say the funniest things, don’t they? As teachers, we’re no strangers to being taken aback by some of the weird and wonderful things our students come out with! Whether we want to laugh or not, sometimes their blunt take on their schooling or the world around them is just downright hilarious! If you’re in need of a good laugh, here’s a collection of some of the most hilarious overheard quotes from students. Have any of your little comedians come out with anything funnier? Read on and find out!
1. “I’m not late; I’m just in a time zone that doesn’t like to rush things.”
2. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
3. “Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?”
4. “Math: where imaginary numbers exist, but the ‘A’ I need does not.”
5. “I was going to study for my exams, but I accidentally got stuck on the Internet.”
6. “My dog ate my homework. No, seriously, I have a video to prove it!”
7. “Homework is like duct tape – it doesn’t solve the problem, it just makes it stick around longer.”
8. “The only ‘F’ I want to see is ‘Friday’.”
9. “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur!”
10. “I’m not sleeping in class; I’m just very focused on closing my eyes to better absorb the information.”
11. “Eating spaghetti requires so much attention. That’s why you can’t have a conversation with someone who’s eating spaghetti.”
12. “My favorite exercise is jumping to conclusions.”
13. “My homework brings all the nerds to the yard.”
14. “I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate.”
15. “The square root of ‘school’ is ‘snooze.'”
16. “Why do we have to wake up from the dream right when it gets good? That’s like stopping a movie right at the best part!”
17. “I follow the ‘no student left behind’ policy. If one of us decides to skip school, we all go.”
18. “Classroom rule: If the teacher doesn’t show up in 15 minutes, we’re legally allowed to leave. Right?”
19. “If at first you don’t succeed, hide all evidence that you tried.”
20. “I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”
21. “I’m a multitasker. I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time.”
22. “I’m not talking in class; I’m participating in a live debate.”
23. “Why do weekends have to end? I demand a recount!”
24. “Our school has a strict ‘no bullying’ policy, but it doesn’t seem to apply to the math tests.”
25. “Why does it take five minutes to get to class, but the last five minutes of class feel like an eternity?”
26. “I’m not a morning person or a night person. I think I’m somewhere around 2 pm.”
27. “I have a busy day ahead: I have to overthink everything, jump to conclusions, and then worry about the things that will never happen.”
28. “My computer screen is brighter than my future right now.”
29. “I’m not saying I’m Batman, but so far nobody has seen me and Batman in the same room together.”
30. “Why does ‘lisp’ have an ‘s’ in it? It’s like someone wanted to make it extra challenging.”
31. “I’m not late; I’m just on a personal time delay.”
32. “I’m not lost; I’m exploring the school.”
33. “Stressed spelled backward is desserts. Coincidence? I think not.”
34. “I’m currently on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.”
35. “I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m just taking a long break.”
36. “Why do we have to whisper during a fire drill? Do we not want the fire to know we’re leaving?”
37. “My teacher said, ‘This is going to be a piece of cake.’ Apparently, we have different definitions of cake.”
38. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m correct.”
39. “I don’t understand why school is so intense; Hogwarts never seemed to assign homework and they turned out fine.”
40. “History class is great. Where else can you learn about dead people and wars and stuff?”
41. “When I say I miss school during the summer, I mean my friends and the fun. Not the school part itself.”