History isn’t always boring! These jokes about things in the past will get you giggling! Check out these jokes that are great for history fans of all ages! Spanning across the ages, these jokes come from different areas and time periods but are sure to get a chuckle from history enthusiasts!
1. What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
I don’t know, I wasn’t invited!
2. Why is England the wettest country?
Because the queen has reigned there for years!
3. Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?
Because they didn’t want to wait 40 years for a train!
4. When a knight was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave?
Rust in peace!
5. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?
At the chopping mall!
6. Why did the British cross the Atlantic?
To get to the other tide!
7. What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?
Yankee Poodle!
8. How were the first Americans like ants?
They also lived in colonies.
9. What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?
Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer!
10. Who cleaned up after the animals on the ark?
I have Noah-dea!
11. What did the visitor say as he left the Statue of Liberty?
Keep in torch!
12. Why didn’t Socrates like old French fries?
Because they were made in ancient Greece.
13. What did the colonists do because of the Stamp Act?
They licked the British.
14. Where did medieval knights park their camels?
Camelot.
15. When did George Washington die?
Just before they buried him.
16. How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked.
17. What “bus” crossed the ocean?
Columbus.
18. Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?
On their feet.
19. Who built the ark?
I have Noah-dea!
20. Why did the knight run around shouting for a can opener?
He had a bumblebee in his suit of armor!
21. Why was King Arthur always tired?
Because he worked on the knight shift!
22. How did the youngest Pharoah get to school each morning?
He rode a bright yellow Anubis.
23. What do you call a very, very old joke?
Pre-hysterical!
24. Where was the Magna Carta signed?
At the bottom!
25. What do you call a communist sniper?
A Marxman!
26. Why didn’t the Egyptian go to the doctor?
He was in de-Nile about his condition!
27. Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table?
Sir Cumference, he acquired his size from too much pi!
28. Why did Columbus cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
29. What do you call a medieval rabbit?
Sir Hop-a-lot!
30. Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
Because he sphinx he’s the best!
31. How were the first Americans like ants?
They lived in colonies!
32. Why did the knight refuse to fight the dragon?
He thought it would drag-on!
33. What’s a pirate’s favorite country?
Arrrrrgentina!
34. Why did the Crusaders refuse to cook?
Because they lost their taste for the Holy Roast!
35. Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they ever said was, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
36. Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights!
37. Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony!
38. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
Tea-shirts
39. What kind of tea did the colonists want the most?
Liber-Tea
40. Why didn’t the Romans find algebra challenging?
Because X always equalled 10!
41. What kind of music did Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock!
42. What did the grape say when the Viking stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
43. How do historians freshen their breath?
With ancient mint-story.
44. How do you defeat a Roman emperor?
You Caesar the day!
45. What was the most popular dance in 1776?
Indepen-dance
46. Why did Napoleon keep his hand inside his coat?
Because he didn’t want to catch a cold hand!
47. How does an Ancient Roman cut his hair?
He Caesars it!
48. Where do knights park their camels?
In the Camel-lot
49. What do you call a fast Roman ruler?
Julius Speedster!
50. What’s a Mummy’s favorite type of music?
Wrap music!
51. How did Julius Caesar like his salad?
With plenty of Caesar dressing!
52. Why was the history book proud of itself?
It knew all the dates.
53. How do you save a drowning historian?
Throw them a timeline!
54. What do you call a prehistoric A-lister?
A dino-star!
55. Who was the biggest jokester in Washington’s Army?
Laugh-ayette
56. How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code