Bringing a sense of humor into your classroom always helps to put a smile on your students’ faces. With these cheesy and giggle-worthy jokes, you’ll relieve any stress they may be feeling while lightening their load and bringing some positive energy into your classroom.
Whether it’s learning a new math problem or preparing for an important final exam, you’re guaranteed to fill your classroom with a frenzy of laughs as you treat your kids to these hilarious jokes!
English
1. Last night I dreamt I wrote The Lord of the Rings.
Then I realized I was just Tolkien in my sleep.
2. What kind of pencil did Shakespeare write with?
2B.
3. Last night my classroom was broken into, and all dictionaries were stolen.
I’m lost for words.
4. Dating apostrophes won’t get you anywhere.
They are too possessive.
5. My sister is reading a book on anti-gravity.
Boy, she cannot put that book down.
6. Cats and commas have so much in common and yet are so different.
Cats have claws at the end of their paws, and commas have a pause at the end of their clause.
7. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
8. There’s a dinosaur that knows the most synonyms.
It’s called a thesaurus.
9. At night, an owl said, “Whom” instead of who, and my father exclaimed,
“Now, that’s a classy owl right there.”
10. Past, Present, and Future entered a shop together.
It was all quite tense.
11. Why did the grammar book look so sad?
It had too many problems.
12. Why did the verb break up with the noun?
It found the noun too possessive.
13. What’s a writer’s favorite snack?
Syntax errors. They’re hard to digest.
14. Why did the semicolon get kicked out of the sentence?
It was causing too much of a pause.
15. What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
16. What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
“Smiles,” because there is a mile between the first and last letters.
17. Why did the English book file a complaint?
It was always getting torn apart for the answers.
18. Why did the English teacher go to therapy?
She lost her tense.
19. How did the English teacher punish the soda?
She capitalized it.
20. Why do writers always feel cold?
Because they’re surrounded by drafts.
21. Why did the punctuation mark look so surprised?
It was an exclamation point!
22. What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
23. What did the teacher do with her students’ reports on cheese?
She made them into “grate” papers.
Math
24. What did the triangle say to the circle?
“You’re pointless.”
25. Parallel lines have so much in common …
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
26. Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
The teacher told him not to use tables.
27. Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven, eight, nine!
28. Which king loved fractions?
Henry the ⅛.
29. Why did the student get upset when her teacher called her average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say.
30. Why did Pi get its driver’s license revoked?
Because it didn’t know when to stop.
31. What do you call two friends who love math?
Algebros.
32. Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use the algo-rhythm!
33. Why is math considered to be codependent?
It relies on others to solve its problems.
34. What’s a math teacher’s favorite place in NYC?
Times Square.
35. Why was the math book unhappy?
Because it had too many problems.
36. Why did the math teacher break up with the calculator?
It just wasn’t adding up.
37. Why did the math teacher get kicked out of the garden?
Because she kept picking the square roots.
38. How do you make seven an even number?
Remove the ‘s’.
39. What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
40. Why did the two fours skip lunch?
Because they already ate!
41. What is a math teacher’s favorite number?
Anything over π.
42. What did one math book say to the other?
Don’t bother me; I’ve got my own problems.
43. Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because it realized it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
44. Why was the math worksheet so proud?
Because it was the product of its own work.
45. Why did the math teacher get kicked off the flight?
He wouldn’t put his “angle” in airplane mode.
46. How do you comfort a math teacher?
Tell them it’s just a “phase” angle.
Geography
47. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
48. What always sits in the corner but can move all around the world?
A stamp!
49. Why did the Romanian stop reading at night?
They were giving the Bucharest!
50. My friend knows how to read maps better than anyone.
He’s a legend.
51. The grumpy cartographer got kicked out of the map-making club.
They don’t let anyone in who has a bad latitude.
52. So you want some puns about rocks?
Give me a minute, and I’ll dig some up.
53. The metamorphic rock really struggled in tests.
He just couldn’t handle the pressure.
54. I can’t think of any more puns, but I’m sure my mum will know a few,
Alaska later.
55. I met a cartographer who was a spider.
He made web-based maps.
56. I finally found my book of maps.
Atlast.
57. Why did the geography student bring string to class?
To tie one end to the North Pole and the other to the South Pole.
58. Why was the map blushing?
It had too many contours.
59. Why did the geography book get an award?
Because it had all the right coordinates.
60. How do you throw a space party?
You “planet.”
61. What did one continent say to the other?
You crack me up!
62. What’s a geography teacher’s favorite music?
Rock and “river.”
63. Why did the sun break up with the moon?
Because it needed more space.
64. What’s a geographer’s favorite card game?
Continent Concentration.
65. Why did the lake date the river?
Because it thought the river had a good “flow.”
66. Why did the geography teacher wear a globe on his head?
Because he wanted to keep the world on his mind.
67. Why did the valley file a complaint against the mountain?
Because it was always looking down on it.
68. Why did the geography teacher go to the bank?
To change his “latitude.”
69. What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved.
Science
70. I was reading a book on helium.
I couldn’t put it down.
71. What do you call it when a biologist takes a photo of himself?
A cell-fie
72. How do you know that Saturn has been married multiple times?
Because she has a lot of rings!
73. How did the thermometer insult the graduated cylinder?
She said, “You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.”
74. What do you call a bunch of iron atoms at a carnival?
A ferrous wheel.
75. What did the chemist say when he heard oxygen and magnesium were dating?
OMg
76. How do astronomers organize a party?
They planet.
77. I would make another chemistry joke, but
they ARGON.
78. Why is the pH of YouTube very stable?
Because it constantly buffers
79. A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
“No, I’m traveling light.”
80. What did the biologist wear to impress his date?
Designer genes.
81. Why did the physicist attend therapy?
He had a lot of potential energy but no kinetic energy.
82. What did the stamen say to the pistil?
“I like your style.”
83. Why did the chemistry teacher break up with the physics teacher?
There was no chemistry.
84. How do you make Holy Water?
You boil the “hell” out of it.
85. Why did the computer go to therapy?
It had a bad byte.
86. Why did the molecule leave the atom?
It wanted to be free.
87. Why did the physics book break up with the math book?
It found it too formulaic.
88. What did one ion say to the other?
“I’ve got my ion you.”
89. Why did the scientist remove the doorbell?
Because he wanted to win the “No-bell” prize.
90. What did the DNA say to the RNA?
“Stop copying me!”
91. What did the biologist wear to impress the mathematician?
A natural log.
History
92. Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights.
93. How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars!
94. Where did Nicholas Romanov II get his coffee?
Tsarbucks.
95. How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By Norse code!
96. How did Louis XIV feel after completing the Palace of Versailles?
Baroque
97. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
But two Wrights did make an airplane!
98. What do you call a vegan Viking?
A Norvegan!
99. Who made King Arthur’s round table?
Sir-Cumference.
100. What’s an Ancient Egyptian’s favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
101. What was the most popular kids’ movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story!
102. What did one history book say to the other?
“You’re history!”
103. Why did the history teacher get caught stealing?
He wanted to rewrite history.
104. Why did the history student eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a “piece of cake.”
105. What did the history teacher order at the restaurant?
The French Revolution.
106. What did Napoleon become after his 39th birthday?
A year older.
107. Why did the history teacher go to jail?
For “eraser” crimes.
108. What did the Pharaoh say when he saw the pyramid?
“It’s a-maize-ing.”
109. Why did the knight refuse to fight the dragon?
He was a little “rusty.”
110. What did the history teacher say to the gym teacher?
“This isn’t working out.”
111. What did the Spartans say after winning the battle?
“That was a close-knit community.”
112. How did Columbus’s crew know they were close to land?
They sea-weeded.
113. Why did the history teacher break up with the math book?
Because it was always going off on a tangent.
114. What did one Roman soldier say to the other?
“Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!”
35 High School Club Activity Ideas: Film-Making, Experiments, Sports Exercises, Writing Practice, And Outdoor Adventures